Follower problem: I'm very attached to my husband and feel he's getting annoyed, what should i do?
But lately, i’ve started to realize that something is not right, i’ve become extremely isolated and don’t interact with anyone, even my family is upset with me because i avoid visiting or staying over, simply because i can’t bear to be away from my husband, at the same time, i feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything i do for him, he says my behavior is suffocating, he stopped answering my calls and no longer shows interest in me or my feelings, even when he wrongs me, he doesn’t apologize because he knows i can't bear being apart and will talk to him no matter what he does.
He no longer values me, even in front of his family, he doesn’t care if they treat me poorly, last week at his sister’s engagement, my mother in law introduced all the relatives and neighbors except me, when i confronted my husband, he didn’t respond and just walked out, i know he treats me this way because of my weak personality and how overly attached i am to him, please help me how can i become stronger and stop being so emotionally dependent on my husband, i just want to be a normal woman like everyone else, i look forward to your advice.
Response to the problem: i'm very attached to my husband and feel he's getting annoyed, what should i do?
First of all, we warmly welcome you to our platform dedicated to marriage and everything related to married life, we also thank you for your honesty and courage in seeking a solution, acknowledging the problem and your own flaws is the first step toward healing and shows your true desire for change and you will succeed, without a doubt.
Regarding your issue titled: i'm very attached to my husband and feel he's getting annoyed what should i do? the solution involves the following:
You must understand that your excessive attachment to your husband didn’t appear overnight, it likely stems from emotional neglect during your early life, which left you searching for emotional security in your marriage, subconsciously, you are clinging to your husband out of fear of losing him, and losing the love and emotional support you so deeply need.
Now, this is not inherently bad it’s the way you're expressing it that’s problematic, men, dear sister, generally don’t respond well to a woman who clings to them, cries over them, and shows she can't live without them, in their eyes, this woman has already fallen into their trap and has nowhere else to go so why should they worry.
Understand this, men are naturally hunters, they are drawn to women who are a challenge who have boundaries, standards, and opinions, they don't desire someone who is overly available, has no voice, and never disagrees.
So, the first step is to stop the excessive attention, don’t constantly call him, only contact him when necessary, start rebuilding your own personality, boost your self confidence by investing time in yourself beyond household duties, exercise, return to your hobbies, go out with friends for lunch or shopping, soon, you’ll notice that your husband begins to see the change that you’re taking care of yourself and he is no longer the center of your universe.
Change your perspective on life, realize that there are so many beautiful things in this world worth living for beyond just your husband, if you're a stay at home mom, consider finding a job to keep yourself occupied and break that emotional dependency, build new friendships, expand your circle, all these small steps will help you regain your self esteem and weaken the intense attachment to your husband.
When you refocus your energy on yourself, your husband will realize you now have a fulfilling life of your own, filled with activities and personal goals, he’ll begin to see that you are no longer orbiting around him.
If you can, take a short trip with your family away from your husband, don’t call him while you’re away, this will surprise him and make him wonder why you're not reaching out, it’ll bruise his ego and, at the same time, make him miss you.
Stop following him around, even if it’s difficult, you must train yourself to resist the urge to give him too much attention, treat him normally not excessively, for example, intentionally chat on the phone with a friend while he's home, this will show him that you, too, have your own life.
Always remember, excessive attention and emotional dependence won’t make your husband love you more, on the contrary, it might push him away and drive him to seek a woman who values herself more, be a woman with a strong personality someone with her own opinions and goals, not just someone living to please her husband.
You also need to manage your jealousy, it’s unreasonable to feel threatened by every person who talks to your husband, he is still an individual and deserves a private life, you must give him personal space so your relationship can breathe, balance is the key to a healthy marriage.
By applying all of these suggestions, you’ll see how your husband’s view of you will change, he’ll respect you more, realize your worth, and truly appreciate how lucky he is to have a loving wife like you.
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